Twenty Years
by Detective Girl 2005
Summary: "Could I kiss you and make you my Queen?"  Minamoto X Kaoru


**Twenty Years**

Honestly,

I really don't even know how my life wound up being like this. I know I have been running from something for the last half of my life that has been leading me on a path that I have no idea where it's going to end at.

It's pretty dumb, I know, but if you were in my place, and knew the things that I knew, maybe you would be a little more empathetic. Or just maybe, you would do exactly what I did.

_Run_. Run and _never_ look back no matter much it hurt.

I guess you could even call me selfish and self centered. I kind of suddenly fell off the face of the planet without a trace with hopes leaving my old life to slowly ebb away. I left some of the people I cared most in my life, the ones I grew up with, the ones I called family, even someone that I gave my heart to. I look at it as a sacrifice, something I had to let go so I could protect all those I cherished the most.

Yet, no matter how badly I try to justify my actions, it doesn't take away the pain nor fill the hole in my being that completes me. Everyday that I am away from the ones that were my life is another day I feel myself slipping away as well.

But, I'll be fine. I know it. Every time I close my eyes, I dream, I get to get away and I dream of my two best friends who were more like sisters, I dream of all the nice people who I knew and supported me, and I dream of _him. _More than anything in my dreams, I get to fly, spread my wings, and soar away from all the pain and the loneliness to find myself sitting, talking, smiling with _him_ again, and I'm fine.

I long for all my dreams to be like those, but sometimes their not. Sometimes they make me hurt, physically, emotionally, mentally, ways I cant even begin to describe.

One day, no longer will I be a fading light like a dying star, and I'll spread my wings and take flight on the wind leading back to where all the ones I love are, and maybe just like in my dreams, I'll find myself being back with _him, _tothe one I gave my heart away, again too.

**Journal Entry #573**

**Akashi Kaoru**

"Another one done."

Closing my eyes to exhale deeply, I shut close the pages of my tattered and torn leather back journal and slipped it back into its hiding place, my pillow case. Not too long ago I have picked up the habit of journaling to help express my feelings, and so far it has been doing a decent job. Whenever I have a good dream or one of those bad dreams, the ones that hurt, I wake up first thing in the morning to jot it all out and lately I have been doing it _a lot_. I don't know why, but I have been feeling more emotional than usual and just really spacey. The spacey where I will find myself just sitting there without batting my eyes once looking out there yet at nothing, at least nothing anyone else can see. It's not how I usually go about things and this hasn't happened since I first….. Well, since I first left on my own.

I laced my hands together and threw my arms above my head as high as I could to get a good stretch before I threw back my covers and groggily stumbled towards the bathroom.

"Too early…" I grumbled as I sat on my toilet to see my analog clock on my wall read six thirty in the morning. Work didn't start until about two hours from now since it was in walking distance which meant another hour or so of sleep for me. Too bad I chose today to be an insomniac.

"Lovely."

I groaned cleaning myself up before I trudged out of the bathroom to my bedroom slash living room slash kitchen to eat breakfast and watch the news. Another daily habit I picked up. Living in a studio apartment in New York had its perks to it but at the same time it was something to get used too. Not exactly your place for ultimate free space. At least it was in radius of walking distance to my job and the city where I obtained everything I needed, which of course meant higher rent for me to reap those benefits.

Pouring myself a cup of coffee and adding my creamer topping it off with a dose of sugar enough to keep an elephant jumping off the walls from a sugar rush, I sat back down on my bed to lounge and catch up on any scandalous media news. It's then, when I least expect it, I almost received my first cardiac arrest.

'_This is Chad Johnson from Fox 77 to update you on the latest news and today breaking news seems to be Japan's prestigious Esper research and academy site, B.A.B.E.L is shutting down. Japanese government officials refuse to talk logistics of the matter but it seems to be funding is no longer going into the project of acclimating Espers into the normal society. What will come of it is unknown at the moment but as soon there is more word on it you'll be the first to know from us!'_

Not even able to lift my cup to my lips, I out of shock, dropped it and almost gave myself second degree burns spilling the dang liquid all over my lap and, it just had to be also, my newly bought white sheets and comforter.

"Shit!" jumping up in surprise with coffee all over my pajamas and bed sheets I quickly ran to the bathroom to grab paper towels until my phone started ringing. "Great timing…" I muttered.

Today was just turning out to be _fabulous_.

Running back out to my night stand, I picked up my cell phone to only stare at it wordlessly debating whether to pick it up or not. No, today definitely wasn't going to treat me to the _usual_ but to something I was fearing that was going to end up happening sometime in the future. I just didn't expect so soon because this call wasn't local, nor domestic, but international.

I didn't think I needed to use my ESP powers to figure out who was calling me but hearing the voice still made me reel back in shock when I did choose to answer it.

"Kaoru? Is this Kaoru?..."

My throat went dry and I started to feel nauseated. Something happened, I just knew something bad happened, or at least was going to. Especially if they were _searching_ for me.

"..Aoi." I said breathlessly, my heart pounding in my chest so hard that I had to sit down on my bed, my hand clenching my knee. How on earth did they get my number? I mean I know you can track people down if you really wanted to, especially _them_ with the type of technology they had. But, I had changed my name, made myself seem like I came from nowhere, a new identity. I made sure _no one_ could find me, not B.A.B.E.L, not my friends, not even my sisters, or even…..

"How did you get this number?" I asked without even thinking, still in shock hearing Aoi's voice for the first time in five years, Nogami Aoi, one of the two of my best friends I grew up with, my sister. One of the ones I had to sacrifice to protect.

I think my question insulted her because she didn't reply for a moment, staying silent, reclaiming her cool which she has always never been so great at it, but she did it. Well, as best as Aoi-chan could and this made me have a feeling of bitter sweetness wash over me. She finally grew up and matured…. without me.

"That doesn't matter." She at last snapped out from the silence "What does matter is bad things are happening here Kaoru….B.A.B.E..L is being shut down because of a growing hostility from the Normals and…" Aoi's voice began to crack.

"What Aoi-chan? And what?", but I knew, I just knew what she was probably going to say next.

"Minamoto left….he just up and left over a week ago without any word nor any communication since to….to look….to look for you. We don't even know if he is okay! What if….what if .." Aoi barely finished before breaking down over the phone.

"_**No… that idiot! Why? He knows the outcome of this situation. He has seen it! He tried keeping it from me for so long. Why try to even tamper with it?"**_

" Baka!" Aoi cried, " Kaoru-chan! Where are you? Do you know what's happened since you just disappeared? Nothing has been the same, not even Minamoto. It's like he..he isn't even himself…and us! Why did you leave me and Shiho-chan! Did you hate us that much?"

"Hate?" I echoed, " Aoi-chan…. I could _never_ hate you two. If anything I _hate myself_ for leaving you guys. But I had to, you must understand….I love you guys so much and it kills me everyday not being near you both but if I didn't…..if I didn't leave.." I stopped, my voice cracking and I didn't want to start crying while Aoi already was. Someone needed to be strong in this.

"But I don't understand Kaoru! We don't understand nor do we want to! We know why you left and this isn't something you can just run away from, you cant just hide yourself from the world and think all of it will just fix itself!"

"I.." Tears started to roll down my face because I knew I did in fact run, something I didn't like to admit, but it never hit home run till Aoi blurted out loud for me to here instead of me telling myself internally. " I know…but…"

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

I never became as still, as scared, as I did in that moment. Aoi's words resounded in my head '_He left over a week ago to look for you..'. _ and I instantly knew who was at the door. My eyes flickered towards the door and then towards my bathroom window. He would surely see me trying to escape from the sidewalk and I knew I had no choice.

"Aoi…I have to go."

He was already here and this time I had nowhere to run.

-To be continued.

_**Yay yay yay yay! Another MXK story and its not just ONE chapter. Hope you guys liked because its about to get a little…well….you will see if ya RXR. Deuces!-detectivegril2005**_


End file.
